Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Pubic Hair... Already? What? How? Really? Holy Crap!

L was getting a bit older now, around 8 years old. Still playing with barbie dolls and falling asleep on my lap as I watched the late night news to see what I had missed out in the world. Our routine was pretty normal at night, she'd take a shower and get in her nightgown, which now consisted of one of my t-shirts (No way was she going to wear a Disney nightgown anymore), she'd lightly snore away as the local news anchor told me of the cow that had wandered into the highway today narrowly avoiding being hit.

So this night was like any other and sleeping on my lap, I really had to go to the bathroom or i was going to explode. I scooted her off of my lap as usual and went to the bathroom.

Came out, stopped by the fridge and found that my entire string cheese stash had been plundered earlier that day so I grabbed a Pepsi and headed back in to watch for the weather. Looking like a dork with a bag of chips in my mouth, a Pepsi in one hand and the remote in the other I rounded the couch corner.

Now, I raised my daughter, I've seen her naked every day of her life but the shock that I got that night was like nothing I had ever faced as a single father.

L was on her back, her legs bent and spread open. Her t-shirt had ridden up to her waist and she was "open". Okay nothing big, I've seen it a million times.
I went to pull her shirt down to cover her and noticed a long black hair on her pubic mound. Thinking it was a cat hair I brushed it away. And brushed at it again. And again. And it didn't move. I gently pinched it and tugged to see if it was attached and at about an inch long, my daughter had her first pubic hair.
It didn;t even sink in at first, quite honestly for about 5 seconds I was wondering why she had hair there.
AT 8 YEARS OLD.

What are you serious?

8?

What?

Now you can laugh, but I remember bring young in high school we streaked the girls bathroom in 7th grade and if my memory serves me correctly, only a few had pubic hair and it certainly wasn't a lot. I remember my early days at a summer camp and having an 14 year old girl friend that had no pubic hair yet.

And yet here was L with her first one.

Do I tell her? Is it time to have "that talk"? Do I wait for her to come to me? Does she know she has it? Are her friends going to make fun of her for having it and think she is disfigured? Do they have pubic hair too and it's normal now at 8 to have it?

The next day when I woke up my daughter was snuggled up in bed next to me as usual, watching nickelodeon and eating those damn potato chips in bed again.

I sat up without even thinking and said "When did you start growing hair?"
Blank look

I said, "You know, down there."

Blank look again.

I said "L, between your legs, you have pubic hair." which instantly made her pull her t-shirt up and look for it.

I crawled out of bed and went to take my morning wizz and was interrupted midstream by L barging into the bathroom. Naked as the day she was born, she hops up onto the bathroom counter to stare at her pubic hair in the mirror. Strange kid right?

The rest of the day was pretty normal, and I remember over the course of about 4 months my daughter went from her first pubic hair to having a downy type hair grow in to having a complete triangle (Stage 5) her pediatrician noted. By the time my daughter was 9, I was having to shave her swimsuit line (Don't they make normal swimsuits anymore?) so the creeps at the pool wouldn't gawk at her because it poofed out the sides of her swimsuit.

Pubic hair normal at 8? Maybe, maybe not. It did present certain struggles that I guess "normal" girls don't go through and also was kind of humerous at times.

Any single fathers that have this issue, important tips here:

#1. Your daughter is fascinated about having pubic hair. Daily she would tell me if it was longer or (As she put it) another "friend appeared" so it wasn't all alone. She asked me all kinds of questions such as, "How long does it grow?", and my favorite (Made me laugh outloud), "Do I shampoo it?".

I wonder if they do this with moms. Any moms care to comment?

#2. If you need to shave your daughter at a young age, use an electric trimmer first such as a mustache trimmer. L and I started with a nose trimmer. Follow with shaving cream. I wouldn't recommend shaving her lips with a razor, they are hard as hell to hold onto and the giggles and laughs that come with it accompanied with the kicking flailing feet won't get you anywhere just a painful nose (I've personally had it done to me, it does hurt). Have her put her knees to her chest, in that position it is very easy to have her shaved within about a minute with the electric razor, just be CAREFUL, it is VERY easy to snag her labia doing this. The first few times is going to be a laughing fit so be ready.

I know it sounds creepy, but as a single father, your baby is looking at you with puppy dog eyes telling you her friends are making fun of her, trust me, you will do it. I know I did it for 3 years daily. We got it down to a science, down to about 2 or 3 minutes tops.

By the time L was 11, most of the girls in her class were starting to grow public hair so the shavings got less and less and we kind of phased it in so it looked like she was growing just like all the other girls.

This may be creepy to some people, but if you are a single father, this isn't creepy, you have to remember, you are playing both roles here, mom the confidant and dad the leader. So be one and take care of your girl.

2 comments:

  1. Awkward position you are having to both parents. I too am a single dad of two, one my own and adopting a 3rd cousin about 6 times removed.
    Being an all guys place, we tend to be casual around the house. Both boys, almost at once when they were 11 began puberty! Like the situatuon you were in, 11 is rather early for boys. That it happened with two who are different in configutation was odd too. My son is 5'3" and stock and my nephew 5'10" and maybe 100 soaking wet. He can hide behind a #2 pencil!
    Talking about maturing bodies, getting them both into a jockstrap and the other "father and son" talks proved to be helpful for them and embarrassing for me. I tend to be a straightforward about things and nevef afraid of answering questions until that day.
    Being casual about nudity helped a lot with them, but the most difficult was discussing proper care of their penis. Like me, both of them were never circumsised and when their equipment was ready I just took them in the shower and showed them how I take care of mine. I was beet red the whole time and actually beet red now as I type this.
    You are a great father having to discuss this with her and helping her with maintenance like that. I thought my situation wqs rough. An exceptional father, sir!

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    1. You both are sick fools. The last thing you need to be doing is messing around your daughters personal area. If CPS new who you were, but would be sitting in prison right now. If she had a major concern about that area have her talk with her doctor about that and keep your hands off. I have never heard of a mother even doing what you are talking about. You're a freek!!!

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